Dear Sheri: How Do I Know What Level of Support I Need?

Independence Your Way. Support When You Need It.

Dear Sheri,

“I don't think I'm ready for assisted living.”

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I've heard those words many times from older adults and their families.

And my response is often:

“That's okay. You may not need assisted living.”

Because there is something important I want every older adult and every family to understand:

Everyone ages differently.

There is no magic age when someone suddenly stops being independent.

There isn't a specific birthday when you suddenly need someone to take care of you.

Some people remain independent well into their 80s and 90s.

Some people need a little support sooner.

Some need help with only certain things.

Others may eventually need more assistance.

And every one of those journeys is okay.

Independence Looks Different for Everyone

We often compare ourselves to other people.

Maybe your friend is your age and still lives in a large home, takes care of the yard, cooks every meal, drives everywhere, and manages every household responsibility.

That's wonderful.

But perhaps you don't want to do all of those things anymore.

Maybe you're tired of maintaining a house.

Maybe you don't want to worry about repairs.

Maybe cooking for one or two people isn't enjoyable anymore.

Maybe you'd like more opportunities to socialize.

Maybe you simply want to spend more time enjoying life and less time taking care of everything that comes with maintaining a home.

That doesn't mean you've lost your independence.

It means your idea of independence is changing.

And that's okay.

Independence Your Way

At Bella Vista, we believe independence should look different for every resident.

Maybe independence means waking up when you want to.

Maybe it's choosing what you want to wear.

Maybe it's deciding what activities you want to participate in.

Maybe it's having lunch with friends.

Maybe it's taking a walk.

Maybe it's having your own space and your own routine.

Maybe it's simply having fewer household responsibilities so you have more time to enjoy your day.

Your independence belongs to you.

Nobody else gets to define what that looks like.

Support When You Need It

Here's where Bella Vista is different.

We don't believe that accepting support means giving up your independence.

Sometimes a little support can actually help you stay independent longer.

Maybe you need help with something occasionally.

Maybe you would appreciate assistance getting ready.

Maybe you could use an escort to a meal or activity.

Maybe you need help with grooming or dressing.

Maybe medication management or a wellness check would give you and your family peace of mind.

Maybe you simply need someone to lend a hand with something that has become more difficult.

Getting help with one thing doesn't mean giving up everything else.

It means you're getting support where you need it while continuing to do what you can for yourself.

Don't Wait Until Everything Becomes Difficult

Sometimes we think we shouldn't accept help until we absolutely need it.

We say:

“I can still do it.”

“I don't need anyone's help.”

“I'll figure it out.”

And I understand that.

We want to hold onto our independence.

But here's another way to look at it:

What if accepting a little support today helps you remain independent tomorrow?

If someone helps with the things that are becoming difficult, you may have more energy and confidence to continue doing the things you enjoy.

Support doesn't have to mean taking over.

Sometimes support simply means giving you a helping hand so you can keep moving forward.

Your Journey Isn't Your Neighbor's Journey

Families need to remember this too.

Your mother may not age like your aunt.

Your father may not age like his brother.

Your spouse may not have the same needs as their friends.

And you don't have to compare yourself to anyone else.

There is no one-size-fits-all way to grow older.

Instead of asking:

“Why can't Mom do what she used to do?”

Try asking:

“What can Mom still do, and what support would help her continue doing it?”

That question can completely change the conversation.

Bella Vista Has Room for Your Journey

Bella Vista offers both Independent Living and Assisted Living because we understand that life can change.

Maybe you're completely independent today.

Maybe someday you need a little more support.

And perhaps at another point in life, you need additional assistance.

That's okay.

Your needs may change.

Your abilities may change.

Your preferences may change.

And that's why having options matters.

The goal isn't to place everyone into the same category.

The goal is to meet each person where they are.

You Don't Have to Wait for a Crisis

If you're currently living at home and thinking about independent living, don't wait until you are overwhelmed to explore your options.

You don't have to wait until the house becomes too much.

You don't have to wait until you're lonely.

You don't have to wait until your family is worried about you.

You can make a change while you're still independent.

You can choose a community because you want more friendships.

You can choose it because you want fewer responsibilities.

You can choose it because you want activities, meals, and opportunities to socialize.

You can choose it simply because you want to enjoy this next chapter of your life.

Moving to independent living isn't giving up.

It can be choosing a lifestyle that better fits where you are today.

A Little Reminder From My Heart

If you're reading this and thinking:

“I'm still independent.”

I want you to say:

“Good!”

Hold onto that independence.

Celebrate it.

Use it.

Enjoy it.

And don't be afraid of accepting a little support when you need it.

Because asking for help doesn't mean you've lost something.

It means you are taking care of yourself.

Everyone ages differently.

Everyone's needs are different.

Everyone's journey is different.

So don't compare your journey to someone else's.

Instead, ask yourself:

“What would make my life easier, happier, safer, and more enjoyable right now?”

Maybe the answer is staying exactly where you are.

Maybe the answer is exploring Independent Living.

Maybe the answer is simply getting a little extra support with certain things.

Whatever your answer is, it should be your choice.

At Bella Vista, our philosophy is simple:

**Independence Your Way. Support When You Need It.**

Because we don't want to take your independence away.

We want to help you keep it for as long as possible.

And when you need a helping hand, we'll be here.

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With love,

Sheri

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